In the fishbowl

I've been noticing that my life seems to be rather together in general.

I've got a job, a car, I'm enrolled in college, and I'm a generally nice guy.
I also have a caring family, with whom I have good relationships.

My mother and I work together as well as getting along famously.
My sister and I tease each other occasionally, but only in love.
When it's just my sister and me, we have deep conversations about life,
and imagine how we would choose to live if we were to live together.
My father... well, this is a complicated situation. My biological father
really isn't part of my life, but I'm rather sure it's not because he doesn't
want to be part of it.
My step-father (I call him 'dad') has been around for so long, I can scarcely
remember a time when I wasn't living together with him and my mother.
However, my relationship with my dad also isn't the best. It's based
off of respect for each others' being an adult capable of making
his own decisions. It's possibly based upon love, but if it is, as if I'd realize it.
Mainly because my dad and I don't see eye to eye on multiple things,
the biggest of which would probably be my personal life, and several other
important things being that I am more compassionate than he is.

I also have a close friend, a best friend you might say, who I practically
consider a brother (and my family treats him as such, too).

Lately, I've been noticing all these things about my life, and feeling as if
I should be pleased. The problem is that I'm not. It's not that I'm
disappointed or angry that I have these things, or that I would rather them
not be this way, but rather that certain events have been cropping up
lately which make me wonder why my life feels so empty.

I've noticed a common trend with the things that seem to be missing.
Let us see if you can spot it:

I seem to be quite renown for my skills at using a computer to accomplish
a variety of tasks. (Heck, I'll go further and suggest it's not just computers
but electronics in general.) The thing is, though, I've become so valued
for my abilities at handling these electronics that my talents and skills
in other areas (such as preforming arts, singing, creative writing, etc.)
have been going completely unnoticed. Recently, the few times I've made
an attempt to use these skills outside of mere pleasurable hobby usage,
I've found myself ignored or even told (in essence) to know my place
and remain doing what I've become invaluable at doing. (Referring to
my volunteering at the operation of electronics.)

My personal life has been quite the same. In spite of my general demeanor,
which is moderately joking, but warm and lighthearted, I find myself
feeling more friendless than ever I have felt for several years. I have
relatives, and of course a best friend, who have not really been looking for
any type of romance in their lives. These are the people who are suddenly
receiving invitations to dinner, etc. or actually becoming involved in
romantic relationships. In comparison, I've been waiting patiently for
anything decent to come along, and I find that I've been ignored, friend-zoned,
or things to that effect.

I've noticed that as I swim around in life, more and more frequently
I've been doing nothing but flailing about above water, hoping for
a gasp of fresh air and finding none. Like a fish stuck in a fishbowl
with the water gradually draining out from beneath him. I have things
together, but nowhere to go, and it's starting to feel like suffocation.

I'm definitely feeling like the taste of a fresh grapefruit (without sugar)
a bit bitter, and a bit sour. I'm still a pleasant person, and I'm nice to others.
I'm just noticing that life seems to be making a mockery of me, and I really
want to know why. But perhaps the time to know that is neither here nor there.
All I can tell is that as things are, my worst fears are coming to pass
before my very eyes. The number of my nightmares has been on the rise,
as well, leaving me with less sleep than usual lately. I have no idea what
I can do to change things, so for now, I'm doing what I've always done: waiting.