"It's the latest, the greatest magical item ever! Truly a marvel of magical engineering! Come get one now, as if your life depends on it! If you are a builder, a camper, a survivalist, a hiker, a hunter, or an assassin, you need this item!" Called a slick silver-haired elf, in the square. His bright voice, and supple complexion containing a paradoxically shifty expression.
"You say this item is so special, but you have only been waving it around. You want to show us how it can be used by ALL THESE PROFESSIONS, or are you just afraid anyone who sees that they don't work will call the guard and have you arrested?" A burly man called out, lifting his carpentry hammer in protest to the dealer.
"Oh, come, good sir! I promise, I am not selling you anything but the finest wares. My lotions, potions, baubles, bubbles, trinkets and tickets all work exactly as advertised. But why take me at my word? Unless you steal them, like the biblioburglar of Linlitana Library? Come, witness the power of my products, the sensation of the season, the one and only EAVESDROPPER!" He called, lifting the small crystal pipette into the air above his head.
The crowd, enticed by his advertising, gathered around, and 'oooh'ed prematurely. The elf lithely jumped up to the top of the fountain he had been advertising next to. He tipped the eavesdropper, so the open end of the pipette was facing the fountain, with the rubber bulb held firmly between his thumb and his index. He squeezed, ever so gently, until a single drop fell from the tip. As it touched the spout of water coming from the top of the fountain, the elf jumped away to land safely to its side.
No sooner than he had landed, a beautiful awning spread out over the fountain, with walls sprouting shortly afterward. The fountain was now fully enclosed. The crowd went wild, cheering at the display of magic.
"Ok, so you made a case for using your 'eavesdropper' on our fountain, but why do you say it's useful for a hunter or an assassin?" The man yelled, angry that already he was being made to look foolish.
"I knew you would ask, so I present two more demonstrations!" The elf said. "Imagine now that you are an assassin, and your target has gone outside to take his evening pipe under this very roof." He jumped onto the awning, and let a single drop fall once again, this time on the edge of the awning. No sooner than it hit the side, the eaves of the awning fell to the ground, severed from the rest of the structure. The crowd gasped in terror. One lady ran from the crowd screaming "we are all doomed!"
The elf held up his hand, showing in his demeanor that he requested silence until he had finished. He took out a few seeds from his pocket, and flung them into the square. Then, with a fluid motion, words coming forth from his mouth faster than his lips were moving, several phrases at the same time, he cast a blinding green spell. When the light faded, the seeds had formed a small grove of densely packed trees, with their branches crossing overhead.
"Now let us take a moment to consider if a deer was crossing underneath, as you have waited for it to do, a hunter preparing to capture his meal." The elf leapt into the branches, and dropped yet again, one drop of liquid from his pipette. With a violent thrash, the eaves of the trees collapsed perfectly into a cage, deeply embedded into the ground, with several sharp spikes facing inward. Had an animal been there, it would surely have perished, or been trapped and wounded.
With all their doubts flying from their minds, the elf directed the townspeople to make their purchases at his cart, where his lovely assistant happily took their money. With each transaction, she warned them.
"Remember, there are no refunds, and to avoid any accidents, we request you do not use the word of activation found on the inside of the bottom of the box in town."
The townspeople agreed, and eagerly headed to their homes. After a few minutes, they were sold out, and the elf and his beautiful assistant, in her scarlet robes, took their money and left town.
"Once again, your illusion magic is as powerful as ever, dear Eva." The silver-haired elf lauded.
"If not for your delivery, I am sure none would have believed it, Ilthinar." She responded. And as they reached the hill, on the very edge of the forest valley, they overheard a collective roar of anger from the town.
"Well, they got what they paid for." He chuckled, as they continued on their path to the next town. Of course, the next town was warned by the man who had overheard them from the nearby trees. After all, there was more than one kind of 'eavesdropper' in this world.
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This blog post is part of a series of stories associated with Practice makes pretense, in which a collection of writing done in response to prompts is compiled. Then, the reader should answer the following two questions: 1) What was your favorite thing about the writing? 2) What did you feel as you read it?
If you would like to view the original, please visit the
Practice makes pretense book on Wattpad, and respond to the writer.
